Chapter 2

Cat

“Hey Dawn, I’m taking some time off.” Dawn is the co-owner of pins and needles and Cat’s boss. Cat had apprenticed at four studios before finding her place in Dawn’s studio.

“Yeah, I kind of got that when your boyfriend called and said you weren’t feeling well.” 

Nate called. Cat’s stomach churns with anxiety, and she can feel the muscles in her body tense up.

He’s done that twice before. Called in sick for her. Only when his anger got the best of him, and he retaliated by using her body as his punching bag. The first time was bad. The second even worse. Each incident needing longer days out of the public eye to heal. Pain management was handled recreationally. 

“Yeah, I asked him to call but I wasn’t sure he’d remember,” Cat says with a small laugh. Every lie is to save face. 

There’s a pause on the other line. It’s not long but noticeable enough that Cat thinks Dawn might say something she doesn’t want her to. Like, did your boyfriend use you as a punching bag again?

“What do you want me to do with the three custom pieces scheduled?” 

“I’ll reach out to them.” Two of those custom pieces were friends. Terrance and Olive were Cat’s roommates freshman year. They’d followed each other on Instagram, and they reached out last month to request custom pieces. Terrance was getting a half-sleeve of wildflowers. Olive wanted something more minimalist. Cat finished the sketches a few days ago and texted them the images. Terrance was scheduled for tomorrow and Olive the day after. They would be expecting the best, but Cat was currently in no physical shape to provide them the best of her work. 

There aren’t many things Cat could take pride in; in fact, she didn’t think she was good at much of anything. But she’d always had the ability to draw hyper realistic drawings. Somewhere along the way she transferred that ability from canvas to human skin. 

“They’ll understand.” Cat can only assume that they will. 

“Alright, feel better.” 

“Thanks.” 

As the traffic light turns red, she comes to a gradual stop and takes the opportunity to reach over to her passenger seat where her large tote bag sits. Thankfully, the prescription bottle of pain medication is easily accessible and she takes out three 500 milligram pills of Acetaminophen. With some difficulty, she swallows them down with a gulp of her iced coffee. As soon as the light turns green, she signals right to merge onto the busy interstate. Her Jeep Wrangler quickly accelerates from 40 to 80 miles per hour, making good time on her journey. According to the GPS, she still has 38 miles to go on route 292 South. Wanting some background music, she taps on the Spotify icon on her dashboard and her mix of 90s R&B and 80s pop songs begins playing. The familiar tune of “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac fills the car and she leans back in her seat, feeling more relaxed. Suddenly, the gummy edible she took earlier starts to take effect at just the right moment. The next fifty minutes will be a comfortable drive for her, thanks to self-medication. The pain that was plaguing her earlier is now reduced to only a dull ache. She managed to hide any visible bruises with makeup and her loose clothing does well to conceal any others. Despite the freezing February weather, she’s grateful for an excuse to wear baggy mom-jeans and a hoodie.

Cat’s phone rings and her heart jolts. She looks down at the screen and exhales a sigh of relief. It’s not Nate. It’s her best friend Wynn. She presses the green phone button on the steering to answer her call. 

“Hey Lady, I didn’t hear back from you last night. Was Nate okay after I left? He looked pissed off that I was even there in the first place.”

Cat takes a sip of her iced coffee before speaking. “It was partly my fault. I didn’t let him know you were coming, and he doesn’t handle unexpected visitors well.” she says, trying to downplay the situation.

“I should have told him, but it slipped my mind. I’ve been so focused on creating pieces for Terrance and Olive that I forgot to mention it to him.”

“But don’t you think his reaction was a bit extreme? I know you two argue, but I had no idea he had such a temper.”

“He was just in a bad mood, Wynn.” A huge understatement, but Cat doesn’t want to worry her. Wynn is the only one who knows about Nate’s anger issues.

She witnessed it firsthand at Pub and Suds, the off-campus bar they all hung out at during their first year of dating. Cat can’t recall all the details from that night, but she remembers Nate telling her not to drink too much, and she may have responded with some sass. She also remembers him grabbing her arm and pulling her away from their group of friends. He took her to a secluded area near the restrooms and pushed her against a wall.

Cat didn’t realize Wynn had followed until she heard her shouting “Hey!” which stopped Nate from causing more harm that night. The excuse Cat used was that he gets aggressive when he drinks, but the truth is Nate despises alcohol. He’d rather smoke a handful of joints than drink beer any day.

“You know how he is.”

Wynn sighs. “I know, but it doesn’t make it okay. Have you thought about leaving him? I mean, he’s putting his hands on you, Cat. That’s not right.”

Cat grips the steering wheel tighter and stare straight ahead. “It’s not that easy, Wynnie. You know that.”

“I know, I know,” Wynn says, and for a moment there’s nothing but silence on the line. “You know you can crash here; Andy won’t mind.” Andy was Wynn’s girlfriend. 

“I know and thank you. I’m actually heading to my mom’s for a bit.”

“You’re leaving?”

“I just need some space and time to think.”

“I agree. Did you tell him where you’re going?”

“I’m sure he’ll put two and two together eventually when he finds out I’m not with you.”

“Well, he won’t hear it from me.”

“Thanks. So, what’s happening on your end.” Cat’s grateful when she doesn’t push for more.

“I finally heard from my parents about Thanksgiving.”

“And?”

“They said it was okay for me to bring Andy. They want to meet her.”

“Wow, meeting the parents. That’s huge.”

Wynn sighs. “And way too soon, right? I’m mean what am doing here, Cat? I’ve only been dating this girl for like two months. And you know she’s the only girl I’ve ever dated.”

“I know,”

“And I really like her. I think she might be my person; you know?”

“Yes,”

“But do you think I’m moving too fast here? My parents are just now coming around to the idea of me being bi and I’m like springing this girl on them…”

“Think of it this way, it’s no different than them meeting a guy you’ve been dating for the same amount of time.”

“Cat, you’ve known me since junior year in high school. I have never brought a guy home this early in our relationship.”

“So maybe the question to ask is what makes Andy so special?”

Wynn falls silent long enough that Cat has to take a quick glance at the screen to make sure she didn’t hang up. “Did you short circuit there?” 

A heavy sigh. “Seems like it.” she says wryly. “Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe it’s not that serious and I’m making a big deal out of nothing, right?”

“Right,” Cat quietly reassures, “I think your parents love you enough that they’ll be okay with whoever you’re dating. “

“Yeah… I guess. Thanks for talking me off the ledge.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

Their conversation veers toward a lighter note and eventually they say goodbye. Cat promises to text her when she arrives at her parents. It’s maybe ten minutes later that her phone rings again and this time it’s Nate. Fear crawls up her spine as she restrains herself from answering. He was checking on her. Cat knows this with certainty because he doesn’t deviate from his routine. Just like she told Wynn he’ll eventually guess that she’s gone to her mom. It’s the only place far enough that he can’t immediately reach her.

The last two times he hit her Cat stayed in their apartment for three weeks. She’d mustered up enough bravery to tell him if it happened again, she would leave and go to her mom’s. He’d whispered it would be the last time while he took care of her. He’d been so attentive. So, kind. So Gentle. So much so she allowed herself to be fooled. Cat performed mental gymnastics in order to justify the abuse. 

She wasn’t sure what the difference between then and now is, but she knew she needed space from him. She needed time to think. She needed her mom. 

She lets the phone ring and ring and ring. He’s persistent and calls another three times. It’s followed by texts. Cat forces herself not to reply. 

As she drives on the interstate, the scenery gradually changes, giving way to more rural landscapes. Cat feels herself start to relax, the tension in her body easing slightly. The painkillers are doing their job, numbing the worst of the physical pain.

But the emotional pain is still there, a constant dull ache in her chest. Nate’s calls and texts are a reminder of that pain, of the cycle of abuse she’s been trapped in for so long. Despite everything, a small part of her was still in love with him, still wanted to believe that he could change.

But Cat knows deep down that it’s not going to happen. Not without him acknowledging the problem and seeking help. And even then, she’s not sure she could ever truly trust him again.

~*~

Easterly is two interstates away, roughly forty-five minutes from East Providence. The drive there flies by as Cat maintains a steady eighty. She knows the way but keeps the GPS on to warn her of state troopers. 

Twenty minutes away from home the GPS instructs her take the exit ramp on the right. Easterly is just beyond the winding curve of that ramp. Trees, trees and more trees line the ten mile stretch of blacktop that will eventually lead Cat to her street. 

Windows down, her favorite 90s playlist blasting through the speakers, she’s singing obnoxiously along to a song when without warning the car begins making a sputtering sound. Terror brings her heart careening into her ribcage as she instantly reaches out a hand to shut off her radio. A quick glance at the dashboard reveals one of her worst fears. 

The gas light is on and Cat inwardly facepalms. This is what she gets for neglecting to get gas before leaving. But in her defense, she thought a quarter tank of gas was enough to at least get her home. Obviously, she was wrong.

Her heart drops as the car slogs along, the engine sputtering as it sucks up the last bit of fuel. A jolt of adrenaline forces her to maintain control as she puts on her emergency signals and shifts the transmission to neutral. She just manages to use the breaks to maneuver the car to the right shoulder of the road when the engine refuses to turn over and the car comes to a complete stop. 

Cat lets out a breath as she peels her stiff, sweaty fingers from around the steering wheel. A part of her is grateful that her dad taught her a few things about cars before he went to prison. The man was a useless drunk but at least the knowledge he provided came in handy just now. One of those things being, how to pull over to the shoulder of the road when you had a flat tire. Cat didn’t have a flat, but same idea. He may have been an abusive drunk, but the man knew cars. 

She clenches and unclenches her hands into fists to rid them of their noticeable quiver before lowering them to her lap. Pressing her head back against the headrest she lets relief sink into limbs as her heartbeat returns to normal. It’s not that bad. She silently consoles herself. It could’ve definitely been worse. And although she’s now stranded, at least she didn’t get into an accident. 

Taking in a shuddering breath Cat reaches for her cell phone in the empty cup holder.

But as soon as she picks it up, she realizes she forgot to charge it before leaving. The battery is dead. 

Fantastic adulting here, Cat. Her mind mocks derisively. 

“Mom is going to shit bricks.” She murmurs to no one.